Santa Jackpot

"Santa?" asking as he wakes up on Christmas morning. Gus must remember Curt telling him the night before that Santa would bring him presents if he went to bed. "Let's go see the tree!" I reply as we strength his nearly awake body out of bed. Christmas morning creates a magical feeling in our home. The crystal glare of the tree lights bounce off the tops of boxes wrapped in metallic green and blue wrapping paper. A bay toddler-sized riding horse, stuffed Pixar "Dispicable Me" Minion, and a group of Mickey Mouse toys creates a focal point in front of the tree. An over-flowing stocking lays turgid on the floor, waiting to be explored. We confirmed Santa's visit by the crumbs of cookies and empty glass of milk along side of Gus's Christmas letter. The season's 'nautry or nice' tradition now made sense and Gus realized he had hit the Santa Jackpot!

Scoot, Scoot

In front of his toy case, in his new room, is the first place I sat Gus the day we came home from the hospital. Gus looks up and asks me "Hey, hey, that!" Before long we had every toy and book off the shelf and spread across the floor. Getting reacquainted with all of his toys is how Gus spent his first few days at home. His train set needed new batteries and all of his tractors and cars had been pretend fixed several times. If you want your children to be excited with all their toys again, just hide them for a couple of months. 

The Road Never Taken

The Road Not Taken Robert Frost Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.

Recovery by Numbers

12, the minutes it takes to get to the hospital by life flight. 15, days in the PICU. 13, days on antibiotics. 46, the day that Gus took a first step with his left foot. 28, the number of times we have watched the 'Crystal Mickey' episode of Mickey Mouse. 1280, Gus's mL fluid goal for each day. 4, how many times we had to put the feeding tube back in. 500+, hours of the liquid mind radio station played on Pandora. 2, the months ago that I deleted a section of information in my brain for more storage.

Thanksgiving Wish

Curt and I share fall time pictures and find ourselves comparing crops. Curt shares pictures that he had taken during the drought year. First, a picture from the silage corn field. The picked cob was small enough to fit in Curt's hand when he took the picture with his phone. Peeking out of the husk you can see shaded dent on the golden yellow kernels, showing the lack of water. Paired with it is a picture our newly arrived baby Augustus. A crop I am personally very proud of. Captured in his Daddy's arms as they both rest in the window of his first hospital room. A light green blanket wraps around his newborn body, only revealing his soft cheeks and closed eyes. Pictures that can describe the first harvest.

Helwicoper Reunion

"Wow!" was Gus's first reaction. His anticipation had brought him to the top of the University of Utah Hospital. Only a few people get to access the roof of the hospital where the life flight helicopter is perched. I can see the excitement in his eyes as I lean down and ask him "what is it?" "Helwicoper," he whispers back. He points over to the middle of the roof where the large red Air Med helicopter is tied down. Gus doesn't dare blink, as it may be a dream that could shutter away. 

"Ready to go see it?" Nicole asks before we start wheeling over to it.  "Yeah!" Gus shares with us as we start rolling through the wind. 

Big Red

Framed on the wall of the Therapy Gym is this quote:

Little by little, inch by inch,
By the yard it is hard,

By the inch, what a cinch.

Never stare up the stairs,

Just step up the steps,

Little by little,

Inch by inch.

By: Ron Hamilton

Gus's Hunger Games

The hospital schedule describes this time as rehab participation. Curt and I call it 'Gus's Games.' The games consist of three categories: eating mastery, physical endurance, and problem solving. Gus's Hunger Games is the first category, where eating and swallowing are the tasks. He practices eating in his room during every meal. However, a special game is set up for Gus to challenge his best attribute. The game host has mapped out a special task force for Gus to digest today. The challengers are crunchy cereals, mushy breakfast surprises, and dissolving treats. 

A Newborn Colt

A newborn horse will have the desire to get up and stand within minutes. Shortly after his arrival he'll stretch his front legs out in front of his chest and balance his head. Putting his neck into line is necessary to gather his balance. A first push with his body will extend him half way up and back down again. He then roles to his side and stretches to gather his breath before he tries again. The colt's eyes will be wide and full of life. A short fluffy tail quickly flutters behind him to show his eagerness to have the ground under his soft hooves.

Stroll with Mater

Gus hangs his right hand outside his wheelchair. Toy 'Mater' clasped in his fingers. He looks for the next drivable surface for his favorite plastic, hand-sized, tow-truck. We can hear the plastic wheels running on the different wall trims. Driving on the side wood rails, down the hall, jumping the doorway, then back on to a window. Wheelchair driven power gives Mater the ability to cruise on every flat surface on our way out of the hospital. For the first time in weeks, we left the hospital as a family! Gus was awarded a ride pass, which means we could leave Primary Children's under certain conditions. Our couple hours outside was a delight.

The First Miracle

The morning of October 12th started off like a normal Fall Saturday.  Gus got ready that morning by dressing in his ranch clothes.  Stormy Kromer hat, cowboy boots and sweatshirt. While he watched one episode of Disney, I made him some cheesy eggs and packed his diaper bag for the day. I asked Gus as we got into the car, "Do you want to go to Grandmas house while Mom and Dad do cows?" "Oh, yes!" Gus replied quickly. The half hour drive to Grandmas is something we share often. We listened to music and looked for big trucks on the freeway as usual. Daddy was waiting with the horses saddled in the trailer as we arrived. Gus's eagerness ran him to the house and in to find Granny. He barely voiced out a "bye mom" before his quick hands shut the door.

Cheeto Please!

"Do you want a cheeto?" the therapist asks. Gus holds out his right hand and smiles big as she presents a small bag of original cheetos. The top is pulled opened his little hands are trying to dive in. This would be the first time Gus has eaten something solid, which makes me very nervous. We have been introducing foods to Gus on a very cautious level to make sure he can swallow them correctly. However, if there is one thing Gus will master again its eating meals, downing snacks and drinking milk.

Gus Mickey

What did Gus want to be for Halloween?

A) A Pirate

B) Mickey Mouse

C) A Cowboy

D) Lightning McQueen

A hospital created three-piece costume.  First, blue Mickey Mouse print pajamas. Picture a soft, collared, button-up top and matching bottoms. Next, a fuzzy pair of black mouse ears that fit over his blonde hair. To complete the look, his pal Mickey Mouse accompanying him in his wheelchair. Curt and I questioned what Gus would think about trick-or-treating through the halls of the hospital. We didn't know if he would remember the two previous Halloween outings with his cousins.

If its alright with Mickey

Time for Mickey Mouse's vitals!  Gus watches as the nurse demonstrates procedures on his stuffed toy Mickey Mouse.  She puts the thermometer in Mickey's ear.  "Beep, beep, beep," is heard to take the temperature. She adjusts the blood pressure cuff on Mickey's leg to take his blood pressure.  She wraps the glow light around his paw and a pretend pulse and oxygen level is taken. Gus helps use a measuring tape for Mickey's belly, then a flash light to look at Mickey's eyes. A stethoscope is used to listen to Mickey's heart and lungs.  "All done and now its your turn," the nurse says to Gus.  If Mickey is alright with it, then Gus is alright with it too.

Gus's Top Ten NTU Picks

10. I ditched the crib for a big kid bed

9. There is a play gym with cars and a race track

8. The window with big tractors to watch work

7. The speech therapy lady let me lick a sucker! 

6. Wheel chair rides around the hospital floor

5. Playing with the suction tube from the wall when I brush my teeth

4. A 400+ movie selection

3. Milk! I can now drink a thick milk shake.

2. My vitals are only taken every 4 hours,  and the number one pick. . . .

Gus's Lucky Charm

Gus runs around Granny's house large and in charge. He teases the dog, scrambles through rooms, and opens every kitchen cabinet. He finds himself in exactly where Granny tells him not to be; her secret jewelry chest. Gus's fingers feel through the collection and target a small crystal jewel piece that once decorated his Great Grandma Morgan's dining room chandelier.  To be able to fit more shiny objects in his hands, he pops the candy-sized crystal in his mouth. During his precious jewel raid the crystal is swallowed! "Where it go?" Gus asks with a confused eyebrow lift and raise of his palm. Something else catches his attention and he quickly forgets about the foreign item in his belly.
I imagine that's how Gus acquired his lucky charm. 

Weaning time

It's fall time at the ranch and the season's work is steady. The mother cows can smell the autumn air as they come of the mountain. Cowboys will work the cows through the corrals to get them ready for winter.  The baby calves will carefully be transitioned off their mommas side. Weaning; a practice all ranchers use and know well. Weaning; a term Curt and I finally understand in the PICU. 

Our Family

Gus would like to share a couple family pictures from this summer with all of you that are following his recovery.  It may give you an idea of who Gus is and what he acts like if you don't know him. If you do know Gus it will remind you of his bright eyes, beautiful smile and common facial expressions. Either way it makes your heart feel so good to see him.  Thank you to our photographer who has given us permission to share this album. Do not copy, paste or duplicate these pictures or Mamma Morgan will come at you like a spider monkey! Thank you for your continued support. 

A new farm truck

It is exactly like buying a new farm truck. You consider the features and styles, research the latest engine updates, and evaluate the make and model. When the time is right to up-grade you will know. You jump in the drivers seat and take it for a test drive. Adjusting to the new vehicle will take some time, but with patience it will adjust to you. It will allow you to do things you never thought possible. It can even boost your physical capabilities. For those of you who have shopped for a new farm truck, you'll know what Gus feels like today.

"He pushes buttons!"

Gus moves his pointer finger over the star-shaped buttons of a playschool toy phone, feeling the bumps of the numbers. He grasps the side of the phone with his right hand and presses with his thumb. "One, two, three" plays the phone. "He pushes buttons!" I say so excited.  Gus's eyes slowly focus on the toy and his fingers start feeling for more number buttons. Hearing the everlasting noise of this annoying baby toy makes my heart feel so content. I never thought I would enjoy the endless Elmo voice on the toy I had once hid secretly in my house. There is excitement in my son's slight cheek lift as he shares this accomplishment with me, his daddy and his nurse.

Love this Gus

We never knew that ten days ago our family would encounter an unimaginable event. As Gus's mom, the thought of my baby even being sick made me so scared.  Tonight I sit by a Primary Children's hospital crib and gaze at my beautiful baby. His eyes are softly closed as he sleeps. His thick blonde hair lay messy from my fingers running through it. His arm rests around his stuffed Manny mammoth, and his legs around a new plush soft cow. Curt and I watch the breaths Gus takes on the respirator monitor. Each day his breathing becomes calmer and stronger.  Gus's nurse hears less alarms and gives less medications. This room sees less equipment and requires less technical attention.  I feel peace as I watch his green heart rate line on the screen. My hours in the PICU has given me a strong faith for God and so much love for my family.